WHAT: The Price is Right’s Hole in One (Or Two) game
WHEN: March 19, 1992
WHERE: Los Angeles, CA
WHO: Host Bob Barker, contestant Ella, Announcer Rod Roddy and Price is Right Assistants Janice and Holly
The Price is Right is the ultimate bonus show. No one really prepares or expects to watch The Price is Right. Well I shouldn’t say no one, there are probably a smattering of people that have seen every episode going back to when Bob Barker was just a young buck. But usually it’s a moment of sitting somewhere and going “Oh yeah, the Price is Right is on!”. Home for a snow day? Oh yeah, the Price is Right is on! Long weekend? Oh yeah, the Price is Right is on! Sick but able to function enough to handle the remote control to change the channel? I can sneak in a few games on the Price is Right between visits to the bathroom. Basically the show is like finding $5 in your coat pocket. I say just rename the show to Coat Pocket $5.
But wait, you say, the Price is Right is not a sport. First of all, I would argue the Price is Right is the sport. Second, our game today involves golf, a definite sport. You might be saying golf, isn’t that a leisure time activity and now we have to fight. We’re talking Hole in One (Or Two) the DEFINITIVE best game on the show (We already have to fight today over golf, we’ll save the best game list for another day).
What more can you ask for out of a game? You usually get a car if you win, it involves some standard Price is Right random grocery item guessing, the contestants have to actually do something and you get callbacks to one of the great sports movie cameos of all time.
I can remember seeing the movie when I was 10 and thinking I had to see the next Price is Right, as I assumed all they would talk about is the movie, and I assumed that they would tailor any references to when I saw the movie. 10 year olds are selfish like that. They actually did have an Adam Sandler appearance on the show and a “reunion” 2 years ago that actually stands pretty well. But I digress.
Being the best game on the show, there are many, many, many clips out there in the Internet world of different iterations of the game, each delightful in their own right. I decided to pick one that had a nice of mix of 90’s, ridiculousness of the contestant and fun moment. So this clip comes to us from 1992, goes in and out of color and is titled “The miracle putt” so I think we have a winner. Let’s get to it.
0:00-0:14
Our protagonist Ella enters the scene and in what other moment in time would you hear the words “Now Ella, you have that beauuuuutiful crystal castle”. Obviously it was the contestant’s row prize but what exactly is a crystal castle? I like to think it’s the video game from the movie “Big”.
0:21-0:47
Between “Come on down!” and “A new car!” what other person has brought more joy to more people than Rod Roddy uttering 3 simple words? Not a bad way to pay the mortgage.
So Ella is playing for the Geo Metro Sedan, with “4 door convenience,” a rear hatchback that “allows easy access for cargo,” and includes a “rear window defogger”. For $7,384 you can’t beat that deal with a stick.
0:54-0:59
Bob proceeds to make fun of Ella’s reaction to the car with a re-creation that uh, well as much of a delight Bob is he can kind of be a creeper. Which I mean just makes him like most grandpas. If Tom Hanks is America’s dad Bob Barker is a leading candidate for grandpa.
1:16-1:39
We go through the rules of this great game and hear Ella speak for a more extended time and based on her dress and demeanor I like to think she was the inspiration for Kristen Wiig’s Oh my God character from SNL. Ella is so freakin’ excited.
1:42
And now the most underrated part of every Price is Right game, the products! Always make for a nice snapshot in time, both in product and price, and can make a useful prop, such as when my wife was watching when Drew Carey punted a can of Pringles.
1:44-2:40
We start off with Klondike bars because you always gotta put your best foot forward. The audience lets out a cheer and Bob stops Rod Roddy in the middle of his spiel because he needs to know what the hell is going on. Bob finds out that a group of audience members were pricing Klondikes while waiting in line for the show and of course Bob cannot hide his disgust. Grandpa can only put up with you talking about your meaningless college major at the Thanksgiving table for so long.
2:41-2:58
We get Reynolds Cooking Bags, which I have never been privy to but are apparently still a thing. And then in case you forgot we’re in 1992, FOR PERMS ONLY. The only thing that would have made this better were if it were paired up with some sort of Mullet Maintainer.
2:59-3:05
We get a friggin ear wax removal system, which I appreciate Rod Roddy making sure to always cover his butt by saying “use as directed” so they can’t blame him when people shove it up their nose.
3:06-3:20
We close out with some standards in bleach and soap. I appreciate making sure the top of your lineup is strong with Klondike Bars but you gotta have a closer too. Move For Perms Only to the hammer spot, I say.
3:21-4:55
Even with the Klondike Bar advantage Ella does poorly pricing the products in the correct order, as everybody else does on this game or else they wouldn’t hang that $500 carrot at the end.
Two notes:
1) Is there a more faulty communications system in the world than the “try and coordinate your selections with your fellow audience members shouting and signalling to you”?
Contestants have no idea what the people are saying and one false step and the crowd turns on them like they’re in Philadelphia. They’d be better off using passenger pigeons.
2) Shoutout to the Price is Right assistants as they never mess around in revealing the prices. This isn’t Deal or No Deal where you get to take 20 minutes between each suitcase reveal, we gotta keep it moving, it’s only an hour show as Bob is always quick to remind.
5:06-5:11
“See the girls don’t understand the game yet.” I’m starting to feel more and more wrong for my Bob Barker affinity.
5:12-6:00
Bob will complain about time but we always have time for the “demonstration putt”. Bob says he doesn’t want to because he’s missed a few and “you know what that does for my morale.” Dammit Bob. Anyway Holly misses poorly.
At least we don’t have to worry about Bob’s morale. Alright now I’m getting bitter.
6:25-6:50
Thing I didn’t know before seeing this video: There’s actually a whole bag of putters from which to choose. Ella wants to change putters which gets a nice rebuke from Bob, although I will say his mocking voice is eerily similar to the one I use at home. Now I’m shook.
6:51-7:15
Ella goes into full putt lineup mode, which delights Bob to no end. “She saw Arnold Palmer do that once.” I do love that Bob’s reference is Arnold Palmer, who was 62 at the time. Couldn’t at least get a Fred Couples reference in there?
7:27-7:37
Ella’s first putt goes…..quite poorly.
BUT REMEMBER! HOLE IN ONE……
America loves a second chance.
7:38-8:10
Ella goes full lineup again and Bob goes spoiler alert when he says “She’s not a golfer, she’s an engineer.”
8:26-8:54
As an engineer of course Ella is going to KNOW THE ANGLES. Bob is rightfully delighted for Ella and I like to imagine her still driving that Geo Metro around to this day, Chamillionaire blaring out with license plate OR TWO.
Tony Pena Spells Good Night 